I have a planter’s wart on the middle fingertip of my left hand. It’s been there, alive and kicking, for almost two years now. You would think I would have done something about it before now, but I’ve just been too lazy to see a doctor, and I’ve adjusted to life without the use of my middle finger on my left hand. Haha. It’s become a part of me now, and I wonder how it will feel to get it removed. Yes, it hurts when I put pressure on it, so yes, it sometimes hurts when I’m typing on the computer. But, over time, I’ve learned not to apply so much pressure to that finger. And when I shower, I avoid rubbing my scalp with that finger because, otherwise, my hair will get caught on the calloused skin protruding from my fingertip and it hurts! And now that summer is approaching again, it’s a bad time for my little wart. The warm weather and moisture in the air makes the callous very fleshy, which means more pain whenever I touch it.

I should probably stop rubbing my eyes and touching my face with that finger. It can spread through touch, so I really need to be careful. I need to contact a dermatologist to get it frozen off with liquid nitrogen since I don’t trust any of the over-the-counter products to do an efficient job.

On a different and more digusting note, I don’t know how women (and some men, I guess) wear thongs. I’m wearing one right now for the first time in two years because I’ve run out of normal underwear. It feels like a 24/7 wedgie, and I can’t help but feel like the string is flossing my butt crack. Ugh. I think my butt is getting seriously chafed and it’s very unhappy right now. I keep pulling out the “wedgie” before realizing there’s NOTHING to pull out. The string slides right back in between my butt cheeks where it thinks it belongs. I would totally go commando right now, but one, I would never do commando at work sitting in my office chair. Who knows what’s thriving and living inside the cushion of my chair. Yuck. Thongs are so gross. That’s all there’s to it. I’d rather wear a body suit under my clothes.